IMPRACTICAL ADVICE TO A YOUNG WRITER

Recently, I spoke to a young man in the bloom of
his creativity and potential. This young man has
one year left of college, and since was very young
(yes, younger!) he's dreamed of being a professional
writer. And not just a "writer", but a "have-his-novel-taught-in-college-classes-a-hundred-years-from-now" writer. The big leagues. Famous, rich and literary.

He finds himself on the cusp of impending adulthood,
facing the serious choices we all do when we know
childhood is falling away from us fast, as if a mantle of protection were being withdrawn, and we're left standing exposed in adulthood, not quite sure where to begin. I liken the time to walking in alone to a party full of strangers, already engaged in deep conversation, or to a play that's already started and in which you don't quite know all the characters. It takes a while to get your bearings, settle in, and join the group.

Now, it happens that when you first get to the "party"
(and a long time before as well) people start to take you aside and give you some good, old-fashioned practical advice. They've been where you are now, you see, and they've been hurt and have failed, and out of love and a sense of protection, they want to tell you where the pitfalls are.

So they tell you, it's fine and dandy to dream, but
writing isn't going to put the food on the table. Why
not try advertising - there's some creativity in that.
Or, they say, you can write at night but make sure that
you have a day job. Landscaping pays well. Or, most
insidious, they tell you, who's going to take a young man with no experience? Work at any old job - but it's only for now, and pretty soon, you'll get the job you want.

But here's why I told the young man, "Don't get any job
except one that utterly thrills you, even now, even without experience, even without credentials."

It's utterly life-draining to disconnect your true self from what you do the majority of the day. Can it be done? Sure. At the cost of your energy, your dreams, your hope, your self-esteem and your sense of identity.

The lives of the people we admire all read like adventure novels, taking them, usually from a young age, on a course that seemed almost led by destiny and turned them into that great person worthy of having that biography written about him or her. And any self-made millionaire you talk to, or read about, got rich by doing something that they absolutely loved, and which consumed them so that they wanted to do it every waking moment.

And yet, for some baffling reason, our society seems
perfectly content in passing on the message to all of us that it's okay to be only slightly content with what we do for a living. I liken it to being encouraged to fake liking who we have sex with! What could be more intimate than work -- something you do for hours on end and through which you meet your most basic needs for food, shelter and the other necessities you have?

Why is it okay to have our true selves disconnected from our work, not expressed in what we do, not supported or nourished? Should you really feel completely drained at the end of a workday? Should you dread getting up and knowing you have to go to work?

While some people may have told this young writer that
that is just the nature of life, and that he'd have to get used to it, and hope to squeeze the

I told him - you are one person, not the Work You and the Writer You. You deserve to be completely excited about every day and every moment in it, not just hope to "make it through" some moments to get to the things you want. It is too tragically easy to say, "I just need money now, so I'll do this for a while until I'm established, and then I'll do what I want." It will never work that way, because the money you make doing what you hate, or tolerate, will make you set up a certain kind of lifestyle which you will then have to sustain, which is trap that's very difficult
to get out of. How do you then "take the plunge" to
become a writer when you've now got car and condo
payments due at the beginning of the month?

It is easier to commit to being the authentic you early on. But that does not mean that it is ever too late. You can begin right now, today, mortgage, car payments and all. The first step is knowing what you want. How can you hit a moving target? It sounds simplistic, but many people have a vague sense they're dissatisfied but no real sense of what would satisfy them. Give yourself a few minutes today and ask yourself: "What do I truly want to do? How do I envision myself when I think of my dream life, the one I'd lead if I had won the lottery and failure was not a concern?" Dream big and reconnect with that ability to imagine possibilities.

Next, work on a practical plan to getting there. Yes, even in impracticality, you must work in being practical (if only a little bit!). Make your dreams impractically big, and then come up with common sense ways of getting there.

So, I'm not suggesting, young writer, that you dream of someday winning a Pulitzer but that you sit in your
parents' basement, turning out obscure documents that
get you nowhere. Perhaps your true path lies in interning at a television show and meeting great people who can later connect you to a writing position. Or maybe it's as a gopher at a magazine, learning the ropes and meeting the right people again. Whatever job it is, the test should
be this: does it nournish me, every day? Do I get up in the morning, excited to know I get to go to work again?

We've been robbed of the right to conduct our lives in a way that supports us and makes us soar. Instead, we've been told we just have to settle as we get older.

But, dear young writer, and fellow dreamers, old and young alike, we DO have the right to be happy most of the time. Happiness is not something you need to fit into the edges of your life, after all the "serious" business of earning a living is done. Set this high standard for yourself and you may transform not only your life but the lives of those around you as well.

Copyright 2002, Maria E. Andreu

Maria E. Andreu is a Life and Success Coach,
author of various articles and is currently
completing her book, The Heroic You. She
writes, speaks and offers personal coaching.
Subscribe to her free online newsletter at
http://www.MariaEAndreu.com
or e-mail her at maria@MariaEAndreu.com
"Empowering you to Experience the Extraordinary every day."

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